I am seven months pregnant and my 8 year old daughter asks me how big the baby is now. I tell her it's roughly the size of a large banana. She replies: "Then why is your bu*t the size of a watermelon?":P

Why do girls eat chocolate and guys drink beer right after breaking up? Because the sweetness of chocolate makes girls forget the bitterness of breaking up while the bitterness of beer makes guys forget the sweetness of the girls. ,, :(