A mom was pregnant with triplets, one day somebody shot her in the stomache 3 times, 12 years later one of the kids say "mom mom i just pee`d out a bullet". the second kid says "mom mom i just puked up a bullet". the third kid say "mom mom" the mom says did you pee or puke out a bullet? the kid says "no i was jacking off and i shot the dog" .. o_O

Why do girls eat chocolate and guys drink beer right after breaking up? Because the sweetness of chocolate makes girls forget the bitterness of breaking up while the bitterness of beer makes guys forget the sweetness of the girls. ,, :(