A kid staggered into his classroom one morning. He answered all of the questions with a slurred voice. The teacher says: "Is there anything wrong?" and the kid replies: "I swear to drunk, I'm not God!"

Why do girls eat chocolate and guys drink beer right after breaking up? Because the sweetness of chocolate makes girls forget the bitterness of breaking up while the bitterness of beer makes guys forget the sweetness of the girls. ,, :(